Thursday, January 6, 2011

Get up, come on, get down with the sickness

Remember how the other day the daughter produced a whopper of a poop in her carseat on the way home (along with the spilled milkshake and accompanying craziness?). Well I neglected to mention that earlier that morning she had also puked her guts up on our bed after having her morning milk. These two signs together indicated the beginning stages of what is pretty much the worst thing ever:

A GOD-AWFUL EVIL SON-OF-A-BITCHIN' STOMACH VIRUS

Things weren't super bad yesterday, just very watery poops that smelled like some heinous cross between rotten eggs and decaying roadkill. But then, this morning, two things happened:

1. The wife woke up also feeling sick. Oh. shit.
2. I walked to the daughter's room to get her up out of her crib, and upon opening the door got a whiff of quite possibly the most noxious combination of human-produced odors I have ever encountered. OH. SHIT. AND PUKE. EVERYWHERE...

Needless to say all the kid's clothes got ripped off again and the blankets, sheet, bumpers, etc. got ripped out of the crib. Straight to bath time, put her back in the pajamas, begin the task of getting all sorts of poop-and-puke-ified items run through the laundry.

Then made the incredibly stupid mistake of giving her the normal morning bottle of milk, which she drank ravenously. And then she also puked ravenously. Add to the wash list the fitted sheet and mattress pad from our bed, the towel that I had sat her upon (but which she managed to miss almost completely, not exactly a world class marksman when it comes to projectile vomiting). Oh yeah, and my boxer shorts. It seems they are really quite absorbent. Who knew?

I called and scheduled a sick visit to the doctor's office for her and got from the doctor information that I basically already knew: nasty bastard asshole stomach virus, do the normal stuff to prevent dehydration. Kind of a waste, but with the whole cancer thing going on in the background figured it's best not to take chances.

And then the rest of the day was a glorious mix of caring for the two respective sickies - the daughter & her mommy. I did manage to mix in some quality playing time on Epic Mickey when both of them took a nap - excellent, highly recommended Wii game.

Now it's off to bed, hoping that no horrendous puke-poop messes greet me in the morning from the daughter or the wife...and especially not from myself...

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